How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
