My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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