New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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