Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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