I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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