hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
