we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize