gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Randomize
