am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
