Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
