I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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