He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
