How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
