Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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