It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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