just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
