I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
