: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
dude i'm inner monologue high
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
