The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I could make wine with my vomit
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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