How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
