Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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