He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
