Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize