there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
