You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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