why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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