dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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