Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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