Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
