He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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