found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
