party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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