After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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