Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
