The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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