we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
