Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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