I swear she didn't look like that last week.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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