I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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