god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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