i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
