Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Randomize
