Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
