Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
