I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
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he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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