thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
