cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
