My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
