Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
