Pants 0. Shit 1.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
