i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
