I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Randomize
