just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
