Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
