I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
