his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize