are you still at the devil's house?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize