Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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