Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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