were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
